If I Could Go Back in Time

The people that have had a major influence on me are the most important humans’ beings and they are called a family. But before I start telling how these human beings changed my life and made me learn something about myself, let me start describing to you the place that we spend most of the time together. The room where no one is left alone or behind, a small cozy room with so much love in it this place is called the family room. It is painted in white, with very beautiful curtains and looking outside the windows you can enjoy a nice view with some beautiful big trees and a nice pool. On the walls there are family photos like my graduation photo some of my young grandparents photos walking in the street of old Paris and hanging in a very special place just like a little princess all in white there is my aunt photo.
I could begin the book of my 18 year old life with a picture of my parents. The persons who made me the one I am today, the ones that gave me everything I needed starting from basic things like food, medicine , a place to live and giving me the most important thing called love. One of the things I learned about myself from my parents is that first you have to be gentle with yourself if you wish to be gentle with others.
Family is a vital unit of society. It holds incredible criticalness in social life. It is the strongest unit of society. A general public is comprised of families.
As I was growing old I saw a lot of things happened in my life; pain, happiness, suffers, love. We have all been hurt in a certain time of our lives; you cannot be a teen or adult alive today if you have not experienced some kind of emotional pain that will hurt you so bad. But I did not experience only one thing until 28 of July, it was called the death of a loved person. How can a great sunny day turn into a big tragedy for two families, well this was the beginning of a dark cycle in my family. The cheeriest person I have ever seen with my own eyes was the quiets in that day; the princess in all white has turned dark. We are not supposed to be able to handle everything because at the end of the day we are just a piece of meat. But how can this happen in the most vulgar possible way. Let me get back to the start of a cozy room with so much love in it, just like you can picture it all happy faces with so much life. That was just an imagination; the real ugly truth of my family starts here with my cousin (a selfish, arrogant, angry, rebel 20 year old boy) who got into those drug gangs that where created right after Kosovo war and even though you tried very hard to get out of them, it was just a vain effort, pointless. My aunt tried to take him out of the streets, she even send him to rehab centers. Couples of times I listen to him get so angry at her, yelling like “Why do you even care? It is my life, why are you even bothering” But my aunt said,” I am not going to give up on you” And she did not, not even when he relapsed, not even when he god arrested and sent back to juvie. Sometimes giving someone a second chance is like giving them an extra bullet for their gun because they missed you the first time. Until July 28th when he got back from streets and he overdosed heroin, he have lost control of everything and my aunt did not gave him money to go back in street. Nobody knew how bad his addiction was, until it was too late for his actions and regretting. He could not control himself by the effect of heroin and he stabbed to death the person who raised, educated and gave him love, his very own mother. Everyone was shocked this was the first case that ever happened in Kosovo that time, the police was even more shocked in their entire life they didn’t had a case like this before. "This is an extremely personal situation and I ask that their privacy be respected at this time," Police said in the statement. "This is an ongoing investigation and it is not my place to speculate on why or how this happened.” A murder trial was not an option, how can we send to prison our own blood, so my family sends him to America to be treated for his illness with the threat of the trial hanging over him. But what would it really matter now where he will go, my aunt was not anymore and nothing made sense now. It has been 5 years now and do you want to know how this changed my life and made me learn something about myself. Well first of all happiness and trust in my family is just a myth where the legends are just like in the fairy tales. I learned something very important about myself, as a 18 year old girl now I know that if people do not make an effort to be in your life, do not try so hard to be in theirs; It is not worth it. Maybe this is the only statement I want to mention and this is what really matters in a happy family. Isn’t it funny how day by day everything changes, but when you look back nothing is different. Some day we will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again but until then there is dark enough just to see the stars.

Submitted by Anonymous

Family